Ill tell you true why i write this. One day i will die, and i know not the day, and what i have thought will die with me but these pages and they only a while. For nothing is permanent.
I write this because it must be said, because i am possessed by nature itself to say what is true of it, for it has so few defenders and often they are misguided, they defend themselves thinking they defend reason.
I write this because men still fight in armies and never ask why. Because Men still state the will of god with one hand and caress the bodies of underage boys with the other.
I write this because no one in power wants anything but power and all of them who say otherwise are liars or blind. I write this because i am not afraid of anything man can do to me, i write this because my sons must know their father though not a wage earner a believer in the system which they needed to uphold their little bodies from starvation, was not a madman, but that the world is mad, and they must not consider it true, never, not for an instant. I write this because i will have no part in slogans from any group for I am one man and i live my own way. I write this because id see all men free. I write this because i can buy a blood diamond up the road at four different stores. I write this because the system is truly Evil and i walk among it and keep my mouth shut, because if i didn’t write about it….id scream until i was blocked away in a dungeon in a gatehouse near the Kennedy sex tunnels under the Whitehouse( that mixture of architectural monstrosities).
I write this because i am no longer afraid, i have unidentified sicknesses in my cells, what else can be done to me? Why not cure the world while dying of what Doctors call apparently nothing.
So let us pose this question? How free are you, truly consider it. Every social media outlet i have observed with this in mind has been the rattling of chains, people getting hundreds of likes, their sickening but forgivable humanity ostracized making life into some kind of endless suicide. Im no Freudian, but i suppose its because i didn’t have to repress my sexuality to such a degree that i inveighed all of my theory with it. I do however ascribe to the idea of a workable framework of psychological consensus amongst groups of men who are truly the only ones who know what they are talking about and therefor the only ones who can say ” This means this.” …..If a theorist dies in a forest does his theory die? etc. Ex: are you so free that the oddity, discombobulation and fractious way I’m writing this bothers you not at at all?
Are you free enough to know these are words, your flags fabric, but your fellow breathing mammal brothers: the flesh and blood, with ribcages rising and falling slowly in their rooms just like you who we bomb everyday, and i mean everyday in an endless war to support a machine which is out of control. Are you free enough to recognize that? And you Christian? You are no such thing, in a way Nietzsche was right in saying ‘ the last christian died on the cross’ , as no one has represented him as they should since he died, even saints are filled with misunderstandings of reason, most of them mad. I say also Christian, you are no Christian if you embrace the killing of a man over the words on a table far away by two men with two different mascots. I call you children. I welcome your differentiation, for i know God must be on my side otherwise he is the Devil and all is for naught. Atheist, you do not escape derision. You have made a religion of belonging and a sense of undeserved intelligence seem a good and ok thing. You have created an idea of science as finished, and therefor embrace a clearly and presently false dogma. How much more dogmatic the man who invents reason and says it is beyond you to understand it. How much more intelligent is he who insults the beliefs of another because he has no argument other than his convictions ( without evidence all can agree upon in a way that is inherent ethically) which mean nothing and die with him like the wind. I accuse all of you of being false. Including myself, myself most of all. Ill head the pack. I beg the Grace for our actions. In my mind i see dead children, mounds of bone, blood, factories filled with screaming cows and hammers and men in plastic suits, this world is a nightmare and it is all unnecessary.
How long will we sit by and watch fools misallocate things? Acting as if it is merely the whim of fate rather than the very hand that our wants and needs guide, like a machine doing wrong which we manipulate from afar and therefor distance ourselves emotionally from. But nevertheless the machine is ripping, tearing, gnawing, leaving detritus and nothing in its wake, and the nothing mirrors us, resembles us. The furrows it digs for the crop it wishes to raise our vile, and its sickening bloom is overwhelming us. It, We, All, can take no more. I refuse this commerce, i shit on this industry, i laugh at this dogma and i spit in the face of the lie called politics and majority rule. The irrational trying to explain itself is often the gloved fist of an implement of power in a dark room asking questions to things it will never hear for its ears were designed only for lies.
I am sick from thinking / writing this. It is like I’ve battled myself, seen my reflection in my accusations too often, am unable to walk away without a vast sense of culpability for i and my path are the hand on the pistol grip, and the pen in the fat red fingers of the human scratching a signature across another amendment of injustice to reap subtly across the land.
In such instances, one either dies, takes a stand or goes insane over time. There is nothing more to say on this from me for now.