Month: December 2017

We Cannot Ride to Battle –

We Cannot Ride to Battle –

We live truly in a society of victims, and often the victimizer is an extenuation of ourself promising to be the hero we require. Our governments gaslight us all. As far as I truly know other than reports from screens and books I’ve read by ancient historians and modern , the various places on Earth might not even exist.  My reasons for killing people on them exist even less. My reasons for killing anyone more and more strike me as non-existent and the need to defend such a thought the highest foolishness, a thought I’m merely translating from my combination of Tolstoy and Thoreau, Seneca etc.

But you have been put far away from the trouble as if you weren’t the epicenter. And no you never wanted this, but if you woke in the middle of beating a small child with your fists and wondered at what you were doing would you not stop? Or would you continue to beat them while you rationalized the occurrence ? So too, should one apply themselves with compassion to the world and our brothers and sisters contained within it, prisoners and freedmen like ourselves, no different, merely tongue movement and voice box alteration, our genetics so similar that if we all died and left the globe, we would merely fertilize it with the exact same amount of chemicals per human.

I cannot live without my screens now though, the hook is deep. I like you, am no different. i find myself chanting the mantras I’ve been fed, suffering from delusions of the glory of sacrifice, for an organ of central control.

But did God not make it apparent with Abraham and Isaac that our sacrifices were unnecessary (aside from the poor Ram whose head was caught in a thicket) , that our deaths before god were unwanted? As Pascal states, a lot of the old testament as we call it is figurative, many of the battles spoken of represented as spiritual and physical incarnations of failure (having to kill the ultimate failure) and the books written by men are filled clearly with the competitive nature of men, and clearly they are written by men for men who asked them to write them. This is what we use as a litmus?

But what do you do? Today i take my boys to the school, there they will pledge to a flag i know the meaning of all too well, as it means what all flags mean, control over those who stand beneath it as it waves.  I too have been trained. I was at Ft. Benning when we began our wars in the Middle East and never stopped, I was in the vanguard of people lining up, i would have never joined had i not some patriotic inclination, and my other quieter motivation was to see this “enemy” up close , see his world so different from mine but the same. In retrospect i am glad of my falling out with the military, not that I’m a coward in the sense of running from bullets ( though this is logical in any and every circumstance) but I am a coward when it comes to killing men at the order of a fool i don’t even trust to run a region of land, let alone a battle or the reasoning behind one.  I knew something was wrong when we were all united on issues which should have caused division. When we forgot about racism ( not because it wasn’t happening) and began armament ( and never stopped).

My son stood at the door while I lectured him on the fact that we have no real boundaries other than economic and those are for convenience of reference rather than in  a real sense. They apparently teach that these boundaries are solid, as if vaster and dumber gods lifted walls to separate people into both fantastic and shitty spots. We both had a laugh, kids can be so real, men , women, so defensive, gotta keep those feelings of righteousness going. I mean hearing ” You bomb the shit out of kids on a daily basis, like no lie, pay taxes for it without question because you can order shit from Amazon” is a hard thing for an adult to hear but a reasonable thing to a child who isn’t locked in a grid of subservience as of yet, merely in training for such, by my sanction, fucking hell.

I watched children fold a flag, i thought of all my ancestors who died for it and rather than giving the flag the credit i gave their dead spirits the love they deserved by according them the reality of the situation of the falsehood of a colored flag meaning something about them.

I tell you the greatest war you will fight will always be among your own people. Jesus isn’t the only person to have thought similarly but he is correct, a prophet is most hated in their hometown. No one welcomes a truth sayer, all welcome a huzzah man, a liar and beast, willing to make loud noises , fill you with the drunken spite of hate that feels so pleasant when its on! But when you’re in a trench with lice on your dick, it seems so much less realistic, and patriotism the self supporting idea of fat nations, of fat men, fatly being fat on the skinny of others. I doubt your grandfather told you of the fields of furrows sewn with dead men and living simultaneously, he was too embarrassed. Why wouldn’t he be? His explanation was a mere shrugging of shoulders, “These men said to me i must do the thing i did far away but now we have made a movie and it is time to move on, now men in Germany are our friends, don’t ask why they ever weren’t i know nothing of such, i merely fired the gun.” . And so we shrug ours.

Forgiveness is in order, a world healing. A coming to terms with our ability to love, a sheathing of our opinions and our hate.  For the planet cannot support such beings, and will not, as we our learning.

Control those who seek to legislate you into apathetic numbness, those who have insulated you from truth to their own benefit.  Tear down the walls they’ve erected, let us begin anew.

The Infamous Thing

The Infamous Thing

Ill tell you true why i write this. One day i will die, and i know not the day, and what i have thought will die with me but these pages and they only a while. For nothing is permanent.

I write this because it must be said, because i am possessed by nature itself to say what is true of it, for it has so few defenders and often they are misguided, they defend themselves thinking they defend reason.

I write this because men still fight in armies and never ask why. Because Men still state the will of god with one hand and caress the bodies of underage boys with the other.

I write this because no one in power wants anything but power and all of them who say otherwise are liars or blind. I write this because i am not afraid of anything man can do to me, i write this because my sons must know their father though not a wage earner a believer in the system which they needed to uphold their little bodies from starvation, was not a madman, but that the world is mad, and they must not consider it true, never, not for an instant. I write this because i will have no part in slogans from any group for I am one man and i live my own way. I write this because id see all men free. I write this because i can buy a blood diamond up the road at four different stores. I write this because the system is truly Evil and i walk among it and keep my mouth shut, because if i didn’t write about it….id scream until i was blocked away in a dungeon in a gatehouse near the Kennedy sex tunnels under the Whitehouse( that mixture of architectural monstrosities).

I write this because i am no longer afraid, i have unidentified sicknesses in my cells, what else can be done to me? Why not cure the world while dying of what Doctors call apparently nothing.

So let us pose  this question? How free are you, truly consider it. Every social media outlet i have observed with this in mind has been the rattling of chains, people getting hundreds of likes, their sickening but forgivable humanity ostracized making life into some kind of endless suicide. Im no Freudian, but i suppose its because i didn’t have to repress my sexuality to such a degree that i inveighed all of my theory with it.  I do however ascribe to the idea of a workable framework of psychological consensus amongst groups of men who are truly the only ones who know what they are talking about and therefor the only ones who can say ” This means this.”  …..If a theorist dies in a forest does his theory die? etc.  Ex: are you so free that the oddity, discombobulation and fractious way I’m writing this bothers you not at at all?

Are you free enough to know these are words, your flags fabric, but your fellow breathing mammal brothers: the flesh and blood, with ribcages rising and falling slowly in their rooms just like you who we bomb everyday, and i mean everyday in an endless war to support a machine which is out of control. Are you free enough to recognize that? And you Christian? You are no such thing, in a way Nietzsche was right in saying  ‘ the last christian died on the cross’ , as no one has represented him as they should since he died, even saints are filled with misunderstandings of reason, most of them mad. I say also Christian, you are no Christian if you embrace the killing of a man over the words on a table far away by two men with two different mascots. I call you children. I welcome your differentiation, for i know God must be on my side otherwise he is the Devil and all is for naught.  Atheist, you do not escape derision. You have made a religion of belonging and a sense of undeserved intelligence seem a good and ok thing. You have created an idea of science as finished, and therefor embrace a clearly and presently false dogma. How much more dogmatic  the man who invents reason and says it is beyond you to understand it.  How much more intelligent is he who insults the beliefs of another because he has no argument other than his convictions ( without evidence all can agree upon in a way that is inherent ethically) which mean nothing and die with him like the wind.  I accuse all of you of being false. Including myself, myself most of all. Ill head the pack. I beg the Grace for our actions. In my mind i see dead children, mounds of bone, blood, factories filled with screaming cows and hammers and men in plastic suits, this world is a nightmare and it is all unnecessary.

How long will we sit by and watch fools misallocate things?  Acting as if it is merely the whim of fate rather than the very hand that our wants and needs guide, like a machine doing wrong which we manipulate from afar and therefor distance ourselves emotionally from. But nevertheless the machine is ripping, tearing, gnawing, leaving detritus and nothing in its wake, and the nothing mirrors us, resembles us. The furrows it digs for the crop it wishes to raise our vile, and its sickening bloom is overwhelming us. It, We, All, can take no more.  I refuse this commerce, i shit on this industry, i laugh at this dogma and i spit in the face of the lie called politics and majority rule. The irrational trying to explain itself is often the gloved fist of an implement of power in a dark room asking questions to things it will never hear for its ears were designed only for lies.

I am sick from thinking / writing this. It is like I’ve battled myself, seen my reflection in my accusations too often, am unable to walk away without a vast sense of culpability for i and my path are the hand on the pistol grip, and the pen in the fat red fingers of the human scratching a signature across another amendment of injustice to reap subtly across the land.

In such instances, one either dies, takes a stand or goes insane over time. There is nothing more to say on this from me for now.